The other night the neighborhood ladies all got together to “play bunco.” As a neighborhood newbie, I had no choice but to accept their last minute invite although I was dressed like I was headed to gym class and had never ever before played bunco. Fortunately for me, we didn’t play bunco, hence the quotes. Bunco hasn’t actually been played for years. Instead, the night was filled with drinking wine, eating food and gossiping about the neighborhood catching up. Turns out I could play bunco after all.

The one question I got over and over again from this intelligent and well-groomed group of woman was “Do you work?” I’d never been asked that before. It was always “What do you do?” In all those cases, it was just assumed that I went to work everyday. Not in this case. I was surrounded by women who had at one time worked, but two or three kids later, heading to work everyday just to pay for daycare, in their minds, couldn’t be justified.

Does society make it impossible for women to do both?

It costs approximately $755 a month to send one child to daycare. Just one child. I know we personally pay close to that. Factor in that woman already make 77% as much as men do, where does that leave us?

It’s a tough act to balance and a hard decision to make. Being at home can be just as fulfilling, but walking away from years and years of being a go-getter in any industry isn’t exactly as easy switch to flip. I am not anywhere near having to make this decision, but that one question “Do you work?” brought to mind all the factors that will weigh into that decision.

My biggest fear isn’t staying home and feeling unfulfilled. My biggest fear is trying to come back and discovering I’ve become irrelevant. Many of my friends have made the leap and become full-time mommies. I envy them. My four-day-a-week schedule gives me a weekly glance into what it would be like to be at home with Little A full time. It’s fantastic. It’s a relief. It makes me feel like a better mom. But it leaves me thinking – would it be enough?

Is being a mommy enough? What do you do outside of your kids that makes you feel fulfilled?